Day 9 – Exhausted

Does a combination of travel and fatigue cause increased hunger? For the last two days, I’ve been eating over my target Calories, and I’m only eating when I’m hungry (at least, I’m pretty sure I’m doing that). I’m not “holy-shit” over the target… but total daily Calories are slowly creeping into triple digits more than I should be having.

I only lost .4 lbs over the weekend. I’m hoping I’m just bloated from flying and sitting for hours, and that more weight will come off tomorrow or the next day. When doing the metabolism vs intake math, I should have lost two (2) full pounds.

Yesterday was one of the toughest travel days I’ve had in awhile. I wouldn’t be surprised if both stress and fatigue were causing me to hang onto some weight.

The boss is overseas this week, so the office is extremely quiet. I’m trying to get some slides done for him for a big meeting this week, and the added pressure is giving me anxiety. I need to start working out to relieve that pressure in a healthy way – especially if I’m not drinking that one magical glass of wine during the evening to relieve the tensions of a stressful day.

Wine & Cake are Bae

That reminds me… as I was leaving my parents’ house this weekend, I saw this on the counter:

My two favorite things. Together.

Somebody hates me.

Scared of Salmon

Today was really uneventful; more sushi for lunch – although I have decided to temporarily forego salmon sashimi due to the recent article and YouTube video about the sushi fanatic with a 5.5′ tapeworm that he pulled out of his own butthole and wrapped around a toilet paper tube (which, by the way, I thought were called ‘dootdoodoos’ until I was like 25 years old: Thanks, Mom! But, I digress), which he THEN brought into the ER to show a doctor what was giving him stomach aches and making his butthole bleed! OMFG. I can’t make this shit up. It all went down in Fresno.

Anyhow, I had amaebi (sweet shrimp), scallops, and yellowtail today instead of my beloved salmon (my favorite sashimi). All quite delicious… and beautifully presented! I avoided the sauce and used only lemon. I still haven’t purchased Aminos (soy sauce substitute) – I keep forgetting!

More Whole30-ish Snacks

Hubby and I did slip up on accident tonight. I ordered snacks from a link on the Whole30 website, called Wild Zora Meat and Veggie Bars. I got a sampler pack to share with Hubbs to figure out if/what we should order in bulk. I just assumed hey would all be Whole30 compliant – I paid no attention to the fact that one (and only one) of the flavors had Parmesan cheese in it! It was a minuscule amount, but it was still a non-compliant food. We each took one bar (they’re tiny), and began chomping. “Wow! These are good!…. too good… let me check the ingredients.” Sure enough – Parmesan cheese! By that time, we had each had one little square. I’m sure it was less harmful than the two Excedrin I took on migraine day. We checked the other packages, and they’re fully compliant. The snack was surprisingly tasty, and we both can’t wait to try the others, but it was a good lesson in “Always read the labels!!!”

Only the Whole30-compliant packages are pictured here. These tasty little protein bundles come from wildzora.com, where they say, “Don’t be a Jerky!”

Cute.

Stuffed Myself Today On:

My total Calorie intake today was 1948. Yikes! 148 Calories over budget, and I didn’t exercise to make up for it. I’m not sure why I was so hungry.

  • B: Eggs w/ Spinach and Homemade Turkey Sausage
  • L: Sashimi
  • D: Zoodles and Whole30 Meatballs
  • S: Dried Mango (1.5 bags – something tells me that THIS is where I blew it. Half a bag is one serving), Nick’s Sticks, and a Whole30 Imposter Wild Zora Veggie and Meat Bar

Day 8 – Time Doesn’t Fly

Time doesn’t fly… and neither will I, apparently. Delta Airlines had a mechanical issue on my first plane today, for which I traveled 90 miles by car in the middle of the night, for a timely 4:30am airport check-in arrival. We were all seated and ready to take off; next thing you know, we are being asked to deplane and find another flight.

The next flight was seven hours later.

Travel Entropy

I have been sitting in the airport for two hours and I still have five hours to go. I am so tired and very hungry. I only brought enough snacks to get through lunch (when I should have been arriving home)… now, I won’t be home until almost midnight.

This will be a huuuuge challenge. The three hours of sleep I managed to get are all taunting me to lay down right here on the floor. My hunger demon is begging for pizza, and my brain is too mushy to immerse myself into work. The universe is really testing me today, as if it’s saying, “You thought being at your parents’ house was tough? Hold my beer!”

Mmmm… beer. I miss beer. And even though it’s only 8:30am, I’ve been up for six-and-a-half hours, so it actually doesn’t sound bad right now.

I guess I’ll peruse the airport to find some suitable grub, and maybe get in a few steps on my Apple Watch.

…..

Freshii to the Rescue

Freshii! You beautiful life-saver, you! In the middle of the grease pit food court is a little green gem with Whole30 options! Oh, bless you, Freshii! I was dreading having to live off snacks until midnight. Instead, your menu revealed a “Metaboost Salad” from which I only had to ask that they remove the cheese and edamame! And your chicken is boiled! No oil! And your dressing is compliant! Oh, how I love thee in Terminal A! Thank you thank you thank you!

Fast-forward a few hours (I slept for most of it. On the table. In the food court.), and my second plane was delayed by a little girl cracking her head open in the waiting area. We finally boarded 45 min later.

I get to my layover destination, where the same family with the little girl demands to see another medic before boarding the next leg (of course they’re on my flight); another 20 min delay. I guess one medic before the first flight wasn’t sufficient?

I finally get to my seat, upgraded to first class, and I’m sitting next to a jittery old man who appears to have Tourette’s or some other affliction, which is causing him to convulse, snort, and gargle his own snot every 30 seconds. Hellloooo noise-canceling headphones, thank you very much!

I’m 500 Calories under my target and haven’t had a warm meal all day, so I hope first class is serving something that’s at least partially Whole30-friendly. Otherwise, I’m going to drink tons of water and look forward to hubby making me some scrambled eggs and turkey sausage when I finally get home… around midnight.

Hubby said it’s snowing at home, so the 22 mile drive from the airport in the middle of the night should prove interesting.

I nearly lost my shit when the captain of my third airplane of the day got on the intercom and said, “Folks, we have an issue with the lavatory, so we are going to be a little delayed…”

All I could think was RUFKM?!?!

It was only a ten minute delay… thank goodness.

Delta had a chicken Niçoise salad! Hooray! They also served bread and cheesecake, which took way too much willpower to ignore…. but, I did. I gave the farewell wave to the cheesecake as I dismissed my tray.

My Food Today

All meals from 2am PT through 11:30pm ET totaled 1897 Calories

  • B: Rx Bar, Nick’s Sticks
  • L: Freshii Chicken Metaboboost Salad, Mixed Nuts
  • D: Chicken Niçoise Salad, Mixed Nuts
  • S: Dried Mango, Nick’s Sticks

Now, I’m finally home. Goodnight.

Day 7 – Ketosis

My mom politely offered me a sugar-filled mint (I had no idea that Altoids are basically sugar discs!), then some sugar-substitute-laden-cancer-causing gum as she explained my breath has a “funny smell.” My brother, a scientist, piped up and said, “She’s in Ketosis. That’s normal.”

Ketosis? Sounds like a type of disease. Fortunately, I knew it had to do with weight loss, and it was a good sign that fat burning was in full-effect, but I still had to look it up to see exactly what it was.

Unfortunately, mints and gum don’t jive with Whole30, so I just had to dragon-breath my way through conversations today.

According to WebMD:“Ketosis is a normal metabolic process, something your body does to keep working. When it doesn’t have enough carbohydrates from food for your cells to burn for energy, it burns fat instead. As part of this process, it makes ketones.If you’re healthy and eating a balanced diet, your body controls how much fat it burns, and you don’t normally make or use ketones. But when you cut way back on your calories or carbs, your body will switch to ketosis for energy.”

There is also an interesting article about the Top 10 signs you’re in Ketosis (bad breath is #2) at Healthline.com.

HealthyWage

I’m currently leading in individual weight loss percentage for the HealthyWage competition. We do still have 11 weeks to go, though… and my team keeps drinking beer!

I am not too keen on weight loss competitions, as it can lead to something unhealthy and damaging, but there was a lot of peer pressure at work to partake, and I figured there would be no better time to try Whole30.

Plus, my boss thinks his team will win this, and I have this pressing need to beat him *grin*

Scale-down Victories

When it comes to the scale, there is a conflict between HealthyWage and Whole30. HealthyWage encourages frequent weigh-ins on their shitty website in order to feed the competition. The Whole30 program emphasizes staying away from the scale for those 30 days, and paying attention to non-scale victories; they even have a Non-scale Victories Checklist you can download and print out!

You can check a box next to things like “fewer blemishes,” “less diarrhea,” “learned how to cook,” “less sleep apnea (apropos),” etc. I looked through the whole list and I couldn’t find “You have stank ass Ketone breath” – I think that should be considered a non-scale victory as well! According to WebMD, it can take seven (7) to 30 days to experience Ketosis, once you start a low-carb diet. I experienced it in about seven (7) days! Victory! “Friends/Family back up/offer mints when you’re speaking to them” would also suffice in the non-scale victory checklist.

I am participating in both; weighing myself when I feel “lighter,” and looking for non-scale victories.

Tomorrow is my last day of travel for awhile. I can’t wait to get back on a normal schedule that involves home-cooked food at regular hours.

Le Menu

1688 Calories today, and a semi-funky breakfast, since I stayed in a hotel and I don’t trust hotel buffet eggs from a carton:

  • B: Mixed Nuts, Mandarin, Nick’s Sticks
  • L: Tuna Salad Cups
  • D: Salmon and Blasted Broccoli
  • S: Eggs, Dried Mango

Day 6 – Piece of Cake

Cravings and temptations were the themes of the day. We celebrated my niece’s and Dad’s birthdays today.

I arrived at my parents’ house around lunch time, and the only Whole30-acceptable food I could find was lettuce, tomato, and a can of tuna. Mom only had Best Foods “bad” mayo, and she didn’t have any avocado oil, so I whipped up some EVOO Whole30 mayo. EVOO is not ideal for mayo – it is very heavy and creates a green tinge, but it did the trick for me in a pinch.

I made tuna salad lettuce cups. I was only able to eat half of what is in the picture. One can of tuna with “heavy” mayo is extremely filling!

Making your own mayo is simple. If you’re interested, a Whole30-friendly Mayo Recipe is below. If not, scroll-on.

W30 Mayo Recipe

Tools:

  • Food processor with ability to add ingredients while operating; or
  • Immersion blender and bowl; or
  • Mixer with wire whisk attachment; or
  • A hand whisk, mixing bowl, and a strong arm!

Ingredients:

  • 1 free-range, grass-fed, organic egg
  • 1/4 cup avocado oil & 1 cup avocado oil divided (light olive oil will also work)
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp white Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp ground mustard
  • Lemon juice

Instructions (Hubby always calls these “destructions,” which, for some reason, irritates the living shit out of me – he says he thinks it’s cute. I tell him it’s cute only if you’re three years old):

  1. Put 1/4 cup of oil, egg, and seasonings into mixer/bowl/processor. Mix until emulsified.
  2. VERY SLOWLY drizzle in remaining cup of oil.
  3. Once completely emulsified, gently stir in lemon juice to taste.

That’s it! Homemade mayo! Makes approximately one cup. Season it however you like. Just beware that too much lemon will cause it to separate, so you always add it, slowly and to taste, at the end.

Birthday Dinner

Tradition in my family is that my mom will cook a meal of our request on birthdays. Her cooking is better than going to a restaurant, so it’s always a great smorgasbord of fantastic food. Tonight’s feast included BBQ chicken, wine, Marinated Tri-tip, wine, Shrimp Scampi, wine, Lasagna, Garlic Bread, wine, Green Beans, and Salad… annnnd more wine.

Did I mention wine? I miss you, wine.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but only one of those things (and my least favorite) is Whole30 compliant; salad…which, by the way, I kind of had for lunch; that tuna salad cup thing with the lettuce.

Thank goodness, Mom set aside a few raw shrimp and had a non-marinated steak for me. I made my own Balsamic Vinaigrette from scratch, for the salad, just to be sure I was not consuming hidden crap from all the other bottled dressings (have you read those labels? Scary!)

Red Meat Mayhem

I ate a bit more steak than I should have (6oz of meat instead of 4oz), and my tummy was not happy about it. Angry, in fact. Maybe that was just a little too much fat for the day. I’m thinking red meat should be consumed the least of all meats while on Whole30. It makes me very sad to even think that.

Desserts Backwards is Stressed

Time to blow out candles! I watched both my dad and niece blow out the candles together, with a high-five. By the time everyone was eating what looked to be a silky, delectable chocolate cake with layers of creamy chocolate mousse, I convinced myself that Dad and Niece had spit all over the cake in their synchronized extinguishing of the candles.

I came very close to making this the Whole 5.5 + Whole Maybe 24, if not for the mental image of raining spit.

Still, I was salivating like a rabid animal the entire time, trying to be social at the table; feeling crushing of my soul with every bite I saw and “mmmmmmmm” I heard.

Pure Torture.

Chocolate goes very well with some wines… and with milk, which is also Whole30-forbidden.

Dried mangos are totally a substitute for dessert, right? No. No, they’re not. Not even close.

I made it through the day and evening, feeling like I had endured a physical fight with my will power. It’s pretty bruised up, so I hope I can withstand tomorrow.

All My Boring Eats Today

All meals and snacks for the day totaled 1827 Calories (27 over Target):

  • B: Eggs, Nick’s Sticks (Spicy Beef)
  • L: Tuna Salad Wraps
  • D: Steak, Salad, Shrimp
  • S: Dried Mango, Mandarin

Day 6 is a wrap! Mmmmmmm…. wraps. Ugh.

Day 5 – Travel

Only five days on the Whole30 plan, and I’m faced with travel; 11 hours of it, mostly by plane. I went to the airport armed with an arsenal of snacks:

  • Nick’s Sticks (of course)
  • Snack bags of mixed nuts
  • Mandarins
  • Dried Mango; and
  • Rx Bars

I’m pretty sure TSA thought I was heading to California from Ohio to partake in their “special” laws.

The bag of dried mangos was gone before I even got on the second plane. I went to four different CBS News stores to find more, and they’re all out! Is there a mango shortage???

All was well until I was bumped up to first class on the second flight. Immediately, upon sitting down, they asked what I’d like to drink.

“Water.” *big sad face*

Next, are the meals. Airline food gets a bad wrap, but Delta food is actually REALLY good. My seat neighbor let me take a pic of her dessert before she ate it….Slowly… little bites…Red. Velvet. Cake.

THEN she described all of its delight in detail to the flight attendant, who romanced with her over other similar desserts while I felt my inner sweet tooth kick me in the gut. Of course, my seat neighbor weighs all of 90 lbs, so she couldn’t possibly finish a dessert barely bigger than a strawberry… so, it sat there… staring at me. As the flight attendant cleared her plate, she says to me, “We have a salmon and a red velvet cake left if you’ve changed your mind.” My seat mate said, “Oh no… she’s on a special diet.”

I forced a smile and reached for a packet of nuts and a mandarin. *sulk* My appetite was bordering on ravenous pig by the time we landed in Sacramento, and I was already at 1100 Calories for the day!

I told a friend I’d meet her at a restaurant for dinner. I mentioned I was doing Whole30, so she picked the place. Sushi again. I love sushi, but I love other foods too. Tonight’s sashimi was really fresh, so it really didn’t need sauce of any kind. Lemon was more than enough.

My friend had tempura – one of my favorite things.

I love food. I want to eat something besides sauceless sashimi when I go out. Why do so many options have to be so darned unhealthy?

The Day’s Eats

  • Only 1600 Calories today. Even though I came in under my target, I’m actually not hungry. B: Eggs w/ Spinach, Kale-Spinach-Apple smoothie
  • L: Nick’s Sticks; Spicy Turkey & Spicy Beef
  • D: Sashimi
  • S: Mixed Nuts, Mandarin

Day 4 – n<1800=Nope

I know better! Eat ALL my calories! My actual intake (n) was too far under my target (1800) at the end of Day 4 (in case you were trying to figure out today’s cryptic title), but I had dinner early, and arrived home late, so I chose not to eat anything else before bed. I went to bed hungry. The domino effect ensued; tummy demons growling, restless legs, pouting, cravings for cupcakes… and then I was wide awake and hungry at 5am! Dumb.

Setting the Bar

Overall, my energy is still up, and I breezed through a very active, long, and stressful work day. I also had an HOA meeting at a downtown bar at 8pm – talk about a danger zone! I LOOOOOOVE beer. I love bar food! You may as well tell me I can’t breathe if you deny me those things and then flaunt them.

I drank water. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be! Aside from wiping away a few tears and a little drool, I came away unscathed. I was sure to eat a healthy and satisfying dinner before I left, and that helped a lot! Two hours in a bar and all I consumed was water; I deserve a freakin’ ribbon.

Changes?

My boss gave me a coaching session yesterday about my tolerance to certain personalities. We are embarking on a whole new journey, expanding the company, and going global. If I’m to be leading a global organization, I need to behave like nothing jilts me. I’m a highly emotional, intolerant-of-malicious-ignorance, demanding, middle-aged woman, working with some very snakey, untrustworthy douchebags. Every once in awhile, my patience is exceeded by the aforementioned triggers. I’ve worked on this over the years, but it’s a lot like maintaining a fitness regimen; some days, you just say, “fuck it.”

I told him I was confident my attitude would get better and I’d have more balance in the near future as a result of this Whole30 and HealthyWage competition and lifestyle change. While that may be somewhat true, the whole truth includes that I can’t stand liars and back-stabbers, so I’ll just have to find an alternative to walking out of meetings, yelling, or flaming them on email. Ironically, suppressing those urges will likely be more stressful! Ha!

Tomorrow, I’m taking my first flight while on Whole30. Being away is going to be tough! I can only eat so much sushi and lettuce. Plus, I’ll be visiting my parents, and my mom makes dessert every day. From scratch. Ugh. I’ll just consider this weekend to be Whole30 bootcamp!

Today’s Eats

I only consumed 1572 Calories – I don’t recommend being more than 100 Calories under your target; it does more harm than good – like middle-of-the-night whimpering:

  • B: Eggs w/Spinach, Kale-Spinach-Apple Smoothie
  • L: Zoodles (zucchini noodles) w/ Whole30 Meatballs
  • D: Lettuce-wrapped Turkey Burger w/ Whole30 Mayo
  • S: Dried Mango, Nick’s Sticks: Spicy Beef & Spicy Turkey,

Day 3 – What’s This? Energy?

This morning, for the first time in months, maybe over a year, I woke up without an alarm… feeling RESTED! I wasn’t groggy or lethargic. I popped right out of bed like I NEVER do. Is this Whole30-related, or am I just so stressed and nervous about the big changes at work, that I’m in overdrive? I suppose we shall see over the next few weeks! However, last night, I got six hours of sleep (I normally require eight), and I woke up energized as hell! Yasss!!!

Choo Chooooo!

Unfortunately, I’m still snoring like a train, according to my poor hubby, who hasn’t been sleeping well at all. It’s my hope that losing weight will take the extra fat away from my neck and chest, and make the locomotive leave the station. However, this could be months away…*sigh.*

Hubby keeps bugging me about doing a sleep test and getting a CPAP, but I went that route once, recently, and the test was inconclusive. They wanted me to take more tests and I was already into it $1000 for the preliminary tests, so I decided it was all a scam and my snoring couldn’t be that bad; if it was, I’d have a prescription for a CPAP, right?

Hubby begs to differ and there’s no convincing him otherwise. I think he just wants me to look like a plastic elephant while I sleep, expelling human exhaust. (Why do they make the air come out like that? The inventor of CPAP was obviously not a cuddler or snuggler. CPAP is an unsexy, loud, spoon-blocker.) I would rather buy earplugs for him.

Nick’s Amazing Sticks

I received my Nick’s Sticks (Whole 30 compliant snacks) in the mail today. They’re all scrumptious, but my favorite is the spicy turkey! Between dried fruits (Whole Foods dried unsweetened mangos and stuff we dried in our dehydrator), Rx Bars, Nick’s Sticks, mixed nuts, and mandarins, I think I’m well-stocked for evading my hangry self.

The Green Monster (named by my staff) AKA “WTFisKale?”

I’ve also incorporated a Kale, Spinach, Apple smoothie into my morning for 94 Calories, which has helped stave off cravings until lunch time. It’s made of kale, spinach, 1/2 Granny Smith apple, 1/2 banana, tbsp lemon juice, coconut water, and ice. Very yummy! Blend it all in a magic bullet for 45 seconds, and voila!

Day 3 has me feeling MUCH better. Days 1 and 2 sucked ass.

Today’s Menu

Here is what I ate today, totaling 1764 Calories:

  • B: Kale-Spinach-Apple Smoothie, Eggs w/Spinach
  • L: Chicken Soup, Mandarin
  • D: Sashimi w/lemon (instead of soy sauce. Next time I’m bringing my own aminos with me. Lemon doesn’t cut it)
  • S: Rx Bar, Dried Mango, Spicy Turkey Stick

Day 2 – Migraine Misery

Day 2 was hell. My headaches from sugar withdrawals turned into the worst migraine I’ve had since I moved to Ohio. I had the auras, blurred vision, nausea, and pain, all of which intensified with light and/or sound.

I sought information and advice online about the cause and potential remedies for what I believe to be Whole30 headaches. You may not be surprised to know that I would’ve gotten better advice from a Kindergarten version of Wikipedia.

To Drug or Not to Drug?

Ok… I have a problem with the fact that, technically, medicine is not Whole30 compliant. It’s not natural; I get it… but am I TRULY derailing my progress and being waylaid by a pill? A pill that makes me human again? I even had some Whole30-purist friends tell me to just “ride it out” to remain Whole30 compliant, but… and I can’t be more clear on my perspective about that advice…. fuuuck that.

Obviously these people have never had a migraine. How about you let me pound you on the head with a mallet and jab needles into your eyeballs, while punching you in the stomach, and spinning you around until you puke….for three days…and you just “ride it out.” Sound good?

If taking a Naratriptan, just so I don’t shoot myself in the head, makes this become Whole32, then so be it. No diet in the world is worth a debilitating three-day migraine.

Holy Shit. It’s Working!

The amazing thing about all this is that I’ve already lost 8 lbs of bloat and inflammation in TWO DAYS, even though I’m consuming 100 – 120oz of water per day!! I was so swollen from all the crap I was putting into my body, that just two days of eating clean made that big of a difference!

However, even though I’ve lost 8 lbs of swelling, I don’t yet feel a difference in my clothing. My pants are still tighter than a sausage casing (and resemble as much), and my undergarments are still screaming for mercy. I’m looking forward to the day I can bend over without my pants threatening to split at the seams alongside vehement zipper protests.

Menu

Here was my food for Day 2 @ 1727 Cal:

  • B: Kale Spinach Smoothie (looks like a pulverized muppet, tastes great), Eggs w/ Spinach
  • L: Chicken Soup, Mandarins
  • D: Naratriptan, Turkey Burger w/ Lettuce Wrap, and a 13-hour coma.
  • S: Dried Mango, Mixed Nuts, Rx Bar

Day 1 – Hangry AF

Today marked the beginning of the weight loss challenge at work, and it also marked Day 1 of Whole30. Hubby excitedly explained upon my arrival home from work, “Guess what! Great news! Now it’s Whole29!” For the love of all that is edible, I hope he doesn’t make that joke every day for the next 28 days; I will totally lose my shit.

I Weigh What???

The weigh-in… yahhhh…. so… it was bad. Not car-with-no-brakes bad, but definitely picked-last-for-kickball bad. I squinted at the number to see if I actually read it correctly. I’ve gained 37 lbs since July. Thirty. Seven. Freaking. Pounds. That’s more than a pound per week. I gained a three-year-old.

I knew I was getting up there when all my shirts started shrinking at the same time and my pants started showing signs of surrender around the thighs, but I convinced myself that they were just washed in too hot of water.

Whole30 Kickoff

Whole30, Day 1 started well; I had a light breakfast of two eggs and a cup of spinach cooked in coconut oil. As it turns out, it was TOO light. I progressively got more hungry, despite snacking on an Rx bar, two hard-boiled egg whites, and a cup of grapes over the next few hours. By 5pm, I was downright hangry, stuck at work, and ready to murder anyone who even smiled at me. Withdrawals are definitely setting in for the copious amounts of yumminess I’ve allowed myself over the last 18 months; my craving tonight is a glass of wine. And by glass, I mean bottle.

Today’s Menu

My food today consisted of approximately 1650 Calories:

  • B: Scrambled eggs with spinach
  • L: Homemade chicken soup, two hard-boiled egg whites, and grapes
  • D: Pork loin and blasted broccoli
  • S: Rx Bar and mandarins

I’m going to try a bigger breakfast tomorrow, and maybe one more snack. Getting off work before 7:30pm may also help, if I can swing it. I hope I can find my motivation to exercise; he’s been hiding for more than 18 months and I can’t find the little bastard.

Day 0 – Prepping for HealthyWage & Whole 30

I’m already exhausted. Does meal prep count as cardio? I’m going to go ahead and say yes, since I’m exhibiting all the signs; out of breath, sweating, sore back, feet hurt…. yup! Cardio!

Hubby has decided to eat Whole 30 with me for the next…you guessed it….30 days. We cleaned out the pantry, read labels of the remaining foods we thought were okay (did you know there is sugar in Seasoned Salt?), and threw out even more food. Three kitchen trash bags full, to be exact.

I heard Taps playing as I tossed items away – more-so because of the aggregate cost of what I was throwing out. Sure, I’ll miss the sugar and goodies, but I couldn’t believe how much money we have wasted on crap like chips, dips, condiments, etc.

With a half-empty fridge and room in the pantry, I hit Whole Foods. I had to change our meal plan on-the-fly because after reading almost every ingredient label on every packaged meat, I discovered sausage, bacon, and deli meat all contain sugar and/or carrageenan. I’m not going to lie – I panicked a bit when I couldn’t find Whole 30 approved bacon IN WHOLE FOODS.

I can do without ham. I can make my own sausage from ground meats. But…How will I be able to cook those gross little cabbage balls (Brussels sprouts) without bacon? Am I supposed to leave my eggs in solitude on my plate in the morning? Deep breaths. Perhaps bacon was my undercover SWYPO food. I can do this. (SWYPO is a Whole 30 term, meaning “sex with your pants on.”)

I prepped chicken soup, and have emergency snacks on hand. We also have dinner planned for every day of the week, but we plan to choose what to cook when we get home in the evenings. We decided lunch-prepping was most important, so we have soup, salads, and a few meats for this week’s lunches. I can already tell my Instant Pot is going to be a hero on this plan. If you don’t already have one, get one. Perfect soups, and perfect poultry EVERY TIME.

After I food prepped, I ordered out for my last supper. Cue ominous music.

I had an entire medium pizza as my “last hoorah.” And a piece of cake. And wine. And a lemon drop drink. Carbs, sweets, and alcohol – I had to have a proper goodbye!

Goodnight, world. Tomorrow, I find out what I weigh. This won’t be pretty.